Helping Parents & Local Communities
Welcome to the Blurred Minds Community. We have created a range of resources to support families in building and maintaining positive relationships.
Welcome to the Blurred Minds Community. We have created a range of resources to support families in building and maintaining positive relationships.
We give you the answer to some commonly asked questions around drugs, alcohol, talking with teens, social media, parties and keeping your family safe. See what the experts have to say about the latest research and get tips and perspectives from parents who are raising teenagers.
What you need to know to help strengthen family relationships and protect teens from alcohol and drug use.
Research has shown that most human brains take around 25 years to fully develop. This means that a teenager’s brain is going through some major constructions as they develop and fine tune important pathways and systems. Introducing alcohol during this critical period of development can cause major damage and change the wiring of a teenager’s brain. While research tells us that alcohol can be detrimental to a teenagers developing brain it is not clear how much alcohol it takes to cause the damage. For this reason, national guidelines recommend that for under 18’s the safest choice is to delay drinking of alcohol for as long as possible.
How well the brain works
The physical makeup of the brain
These are the areas that continue to develop during adolescence. Click on the markers for more information.
Responsible for things like complex planning, rational decision making, personality expression and impulse control. Damage to the prefrontal cortex can have life-long consequences for teenagers’ personality and behaviour.
Responsible for memory and learning, damage to this area of the brain can affect a teens capacity to learn and remember new information for the rest of their life.
Responsible for our flight or fight instinct, the amygdala plays a key role in our fear response. Changes caused by alcohol during adolescence can increase teens susceptibility to depression and anxiety later in life.
The number one reason that teens drink is peer pressure. The desire to ‘fit in’ and social pressures from peers are often hard for teens to ignore. When it is someone in their peer group offering the alcohol simply saying ‘no’ is not always easy.
Prepare your teen for peer pressure by coming up with answers they feel comfortable saying in situations where they feel pressured to drink.
The teenage years are often highly emotional and overwhelming. Some teens may use alcohol to cope with academic or social stress or to alleviate feelings of anxiety or depression. Healthier alternatives include maintaining a healthy diet, participating in regular physical activity, getting a good night’s sleep, practising mindfulness techniques and confiding in a close friend or adult.
However, sometimes these home remedies may not be sufficient and your teen should seek professional support to help them overcome anxiety and depression.
As teens navigate their way through life, the influential environment (friends, social media, advertising) heavily influences their drinking perceptions. Teens often believe that more people their age are drinking alcohol than actually are. They may also get misinformation from various sources such as friends who assure them that drinking alcohol is perfectly safe. Minimise the risk of misinformation by educating your teen on the facts about alcohol use and its effects on teenagers.
If a teen is bored they are more likely to consider alcohol usage as a fun option. Not only does alcohol give teens something to occupy their time with but it provides a social activity where they can interact and bond with their friends. Have your teen consider what else they could do for fun besides drinking. Most cities have a range of free activities, social groups and sporting clubs for teenagers to join.
Teenagers often like to push boundaries and may choose to drink as a way to rebel against rules.
Avoid being too critical of changes in your teens behaviour or appearance as they begin experimenting and exploring with their identities (e.g. changes in how they style their bedroom, new hairstyles, relationships or fashion choices).
Just like everyone else teens need their own privacy and space to build independence, trust and self-confidence, unwind after school or even just have private conversations with friends.
Stay firm on important expectations such as your disapproval of underage drinking, but as your teen grows older you may choose to relax a few rules to support and encourage independence (e.g. extended curfew).
A major appeal of alcohol is its ability to give an otherwise shy or self-conscious teenager the confidence and courage to do things they would not normally be comfortable doing, such as dancing at a party or talking to someone of the opposite sex.
So how can you help your teen to find courage and confidence without alcohol?
Teens may begin experimenting with alcohol simply because they want to know what it feels like. Curiosity and experimentation is a normal part of teenage behaviour and having discussion about the dangers of alcohol can help to diminish its attractiveness.
Does your teen know what your attitude towards underage drinking is? Do they know what you expect of their behaviour and what they in turn can expect of you as their parent? Are they clear on what the consequence of any misbehaviour is?
Developing and communicating clear alcohol focussed family expectations with your teen is a good way to ensure that they know exactly how you feel about underage drinking without any hinting or assuming.
Creating a family agreement with your teen is a great way to make your expectations regarding alcohol clear. We all parent differently and what works for one family is not guaranteed to work for another. Take the ideas in the template provided and customise them to suit your individual teen and unique family environment. Involve your teen in a discussion around expectations and deciding on suitable rewards and/or consequences. You may choose to use the template as a written agreement or to simply guide verbal discussions and oral agreements around family expectations.
As a parent it is important to have open lines of communication with your child. Having high quality conversations with your teen not only strengthens family relationships but makes it easier for them to come to you in times of trouble. As your teen matures and is exposed to new and exciting experiences it is only natural for them to become curious about alcohol and alcohol specific discussion are important.
Avoid yes or no responses. For example try saying “If your friends wanted to drink how would you handle that?” instead of “do any of your friend drink?”.
Make sure that you are listening as much as you are speaking.
Alcohol commercials, news stories featuring alcohol, tv programs.
Make opportunities for your teen to start a conversation with you. For example, take them grocery shopping with you, walk the dog together, give them lifts, do the dishes together.
Do not assume that your teen knows how you feel about underage drinking. Clearly communicate your expectations and devise a set of family expectations in relation to alcohol.
Avoid having a conversation about alcohol as they are walking out the door with their friends.
Have a conversation with your teen as opposed to lecturing them. Tell them how you feel and ask them their thoughts as well.
If you are mad or upset then perhaps save the conversation for a later time when you have cooled down.
If you suspect your teen is drinking rather than accusing them by saying “I know you have been drinking” ask them “Why do I smell alcohol on your breath?”.
As a parent you are an influential role model for your teenager and what you do is often much more powerful than what you say. From a young age your teen has been paying attention to when, how much and what you drink.
If you are interested, take a quick self-assessment quiz to understand more about your current level of alcohol consumption and how it may be affecting your health and wellbeing.
If you are worried about your alcohol consumption contact your GP or relevant support service to further discuss your current pattern of drinking.